DIALin' it up

A Widows view

2012-02-03T04:37:00.001-08:00

Welcome to Holland
By Carol Turkngton

You are planning a vacation to Italy. You're all excited. You get a whole bunch of guidebooks, you learn a few phrases so you can get around, and then it comes time to pack your bags and head for the airport.

Only when you land, the flight attendant says, "Welcome to Holland". You look at one another in disbelief and shock, saying, "Holland? What are you talking about? I signed up for Italy." But they explain that there's been a change of plan, that you've landed in Holland and you must stay there.
"But I don't know anything about Holland" you say. "I don't want to stay".

But stay you do. You go out and buys some new guide books, you learn some new phrases and you meet people you never knew existed. The important thing is that you are not in a slum full of pestilence and famine. You are simply in a different place than you had planned. It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy, but after you've been here a little while and you've had a chance to catch your breath, you begin to discover that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. Holland has Rembrandts.

But everyone else you know is busy coming and going from Italy. They are all bragging about what a great time they had there, and for the rest of your life, you'll say, "yes, that's what I had planned."

The pain of this loss will never go away because the loss of that plan is a very, very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't go to Italy, you will never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

Merry Christmas 2011

2011-12-23T20:16:00.000-08:00

My children tell me I must send out a Christmas letter so everyone knows we are okay. Well we are okay, however, if I have to get the kids together to pose for a picture, get the pics printed, buy cards, postage, send the cards etc.. then I may NOT be okay. Modern Technology will have to suffice to save my sanity.

The Dial family is moving forward and healing. There is never a day that goes by that we don't think about or talk about Rod. We are very blessed to have such great memories. We feel his presence as we recognize he watches out for us from a different place. And we believe wholeheartedly that we will be with him again someday.

Family time and travelling have been a great healer and distraction so we have taken some fun trips.

Last Thanksgiving we spent a fabulous week in Chicago with Rodney, Kylee and Kylee's family. I love that 'we' married into the Eyre family.

Last Christmas was spent in San Diego with Uncle Jerry (my little brother), Aunt Darla and their kids. Our trip included a few days in Baja California building a chain link fence at one of our favorite orphanages. In honor of Rod they had us plant a lima' tree. Very fitting if you've ever eaten out with Rod and he's asked for bowls and bowl of limes from the server to make his infamous limeade.

This Thanksgiving we went on a cruise out of New Orleans. Such a fun trip! The Eyres and Lowes accompanied us. We drove to New Orleans and spent a day exploring before boarding the ship

This Christmas we will be staying home and enjoying the new house which was finished in May.

Other trips in 2011 included:
January: I was able to return to Chicago to go to the Oprah show! Knocking something off the bucket list.
March: Nikka, Joseph and Luke spent Spring Break in Chicago and had so much fun.
May: I went to Utah over Mother’s Day weekend to visit Kyria. I returned to the best surprise! Nikka had orchestrated (with major assistance of friends and church members), our very own Extreme Home Makeover. I was all moved into my new house! It was a dream come true.
June: Rodney kept up his Dads tradition of taking the little boys to Father Son bball camp at BYU. Luke also was able to attend a week long basketball camp in Utah that month.
July: California for lots of beach time, wonderful weather and of course the annual Baja Orphanage trip. So great to keep that tradition going even without Rod to guide us.

The trips are slowing down as I'm learning how to budget (that is a bad word and I can't believe I said it). Though I do go to Utah often, its not my favorite destination spot but with 3 of my kids there - it holds half my heart. So Im there as often as possible.

Rodney and Kylee are still living in downtown Chicago...for a few more months anyways. Rodney was just accepted to Stanford Business school. He'll be getting his MBA, and starts in September. Yes he's a smart one. He's also a smart aleck; and he has yet to grow out of tormenting and teasing his younger siblings. Luckily they take it better and don't come crying to Mom quite as often. Rodney works as a marketing manager at Fenwal (ok I don't really know if thats what he does, but I DO know he works at Fenwal) he also serves as the president of the Young Men's organization at church in their downtown Chicago ward. Two weeks ago he texted me to tell me Donny Osmond was in their church.

Kylee aka; the BEST daughter in law ever! I won the jackpot when Rodney married her. And the good news is she seems to like me too. She tells me she hears others complain about their Mother in law and is very grateful she doesn't have those problems. You see why I love love love her! Anyways, she works as an event planner for Franklin Covey - the perfect job for her in my opinion. Again, I'm not sure what she does, something about planning really big events for Franklin Covey, hence 'event planner' I DO know I'd be happy to let her plan all my vacations for the rest of my life.

They are very good at taking advantage of the downtown Chicago life, I love to hear of their adventures and fantastic restaurants they find. In September they went on an Alaskan Cruise and were surprised to find they and their friends were the only people on the boat (besides the employees) who didn't have gray hair.

'Rod's girls' as they like to call themselves

Elyse (pictured in the center) is living back in Utah. She works in the corporate office for 'Kid to Kid'. 2011 found Elyse becoming a 'Yogi', not as in bear but as in Yoga. When she was still in Austin she would try and get anyone to join her in a downward dog or sun salutation. I think that was the influence of living in downtown Austin, she adopted the 'keep austin weird' mantra.

I love visiting her in her Salt Lake town house. Very grown up. She also just bought her first, nice, grown up car. When I pointed out to her that Dad and I needed a co signer for our first car, she said; "See! I needed someone to appreciate this accomplishment" She has grown into an amazing woman and I count her among one of my best friends and confidantes.

Kyria (right) spent spring and summer here at home with me. She was my roomie; literally we shared my bedroom. We had such a fun time! She is back at UVU majoring in Elementary Education. She is going to be an incredible 2nd grade teacher. Kyria is an Intramural star! I'm pretty sure the media are alerted whenever she has a game. Her fan club is quite large at all of her games, which include; Basketball, Football, Dodge ball, and she's just added a Triathlon intramural league (not sure how that works). She is better then any of the guys usually, which throws them off, they see her beauty and don't expect the braun behind it.

Nikka (left) was accepted to BYU!!!! And began in the fall. She is loving her college and dorm life. I think she has adjusted to moving away better then me. I miss her terribly, now that I'm the only girl in the house. Nikka also helped so much with the boys. Kyria gets her to play in the intramurals and like a good little sister she obliges.

In October I took both Kyria and Nikka to see Garth Brooks in Vegas. It was their Christmas AND Birthday present, yes its that expensive. Kyria says it was a life defining moment. It was pretty cool! And something we will never forget.

Joseph 14; aka; Josey, aka; Rods mini me.Seriously this boy looks more and more like Rod everyday. And watching him play any sport is like watching his Dad. Its uncanny and such a treat for me.

Josey started high school this year. He also made the freshmen basketball team. So fun to be going to those games again. I've missed it. I don't like it when people tell Joseph he's the 'man of the house now', I quickly remind him that NO, he gets to still be a kid. (Luckily that doesn't happen too much) However he has become quite my little right hand man. Always willing to help me with anything around the house. Together he and I have tackled many home projects I'd never thought I could do.

Josephs voice is so deep, the other day I thought a man had come in the house uninvited.I thought about looking for one of their fake airsoft guns that look real to scare away the 'intruder'. Joseph said; "You were going to shoot me?!"

Luke 11; (far right) attended the BYU / Texas game with friends. He stayed true to his siblings and parents alma mater by representing well in a sea of burnt orange. Luke began middle school. I can't believe my baby boy is in middle school! He, like Joseph is always willing to help.

Luke also hasn't grown out of and hopefully never will grow out of always being ready for a hug, kiss or snuggle. He reminds the whole family when we are together that its 'snuggle' time. He is also quite the 'baller' like his Dad and brothers. He debates often which NBA team will want him more when he graduates college.

And then there's Me! I wish I could adequately convey the depth of gratitude I feel at the love and support that has been shown to me and my kids. I told a friend today that I hope to someday be the kind of friend that he and his wife have been to our family during this past 15 months. And I feel that about many friends and family.

I have stayed busy working and have been able to provide as needed for my family. What a blessing! Thank you to all the friends and past clients for the referrals.

I'm slowly, very slowly getting back into running and exercise. The powdered sugar donuts I breathed in like air the whole year after Rod died were not kind to my health. Which is a nice way to say I gained way too much weight. Nikka and I have pinky swore to once again do the Cap Tex triathlon next year, that always gets me back into shape. I'll let you know how that commitment pans out, stay tuned...And I'll let you know if Nikka actually does it this time.

I love love love being in the new house, I designed it so its a treat to see it and live in it.

I miss having all the kids at home and get SO happy when they are all together. Its just too quiet with only the 2 boys and seems so weird.To compensate for the lack of children around; the boys and I got another little dog Jack and 6 chickens. The chickens have been keeping me and the neighbors stocked with fresh yummy eggs.

So there you go kids, the best Mom can do at a Christmas card or letter!

We hope all of our friends and family have a wonderful holiday season. We are grateful for this time of year to be reminded of our Saviors love and sacrifice for all of His children. The Dial Family has truly felt the healing balm of the Atonement in our lives.

Loves to y'all!Jennifer

Catching up.....with Technology

2011-11-10T07:55:00.001-08:00

Before Rod died I loved to hit the trail; nearly every day. Either a 2 mile run or a 4 mile walk depending on the day or the friends. With my crazy friends I'd do the 4 mile run! I trained for my first little triathlon on that trail.

BTW in this picture Rodney isn't checking his texts but rather getting his phone ready to take a picture of me as I crossed the finish line. He could've done this race in triple time but he stayed with me through it all. Still get choked up thinking about what my wonderful son did with me that day.

After Rod died I substituted the trail for powdered sugar donuts and coke. I know, I know bad, bad habits. Couldn't seem to help it. I physically couldn't get myself to the trail...or to exercise at all for that matter! So fascinating how different grief is for everyone. Another widow friend couldn't sit still and lost as much weight as I gained. ( She looks fabulous and I'm trying to follow her example now )

Did I avoid the trail because it's part of Brushy Creek? I don't know, maybe, probably. Did I avoid it because sometimes Rod would go there with me? Maybe, probably. Whatever reason I pretty much avoided moving at all, something I used to really enjoy.

Well I'm getting back to the trail and back to moving. And with the lapse in time their have been some cool new apps I've discovered! I <3 Radio for one! Specifically the spin cycle station. Wow! And I can listen to local morning stations, atleast some of them.

Nike gps, Double Wow! I'd been asking for a gps watch when I was actively running. Nope! Don't need one anymore. Nike gps was free and even has Lance Armstrong telling me 'good job!' even though I only did 2.22 miles at a snails pace. Lance was proud of me!

Rod almost knew Lance....well he did all his driveways so he knew his whole crew and staff. So it's almost like Rod saying he was proud of me. Not really. In fact a little too far reaching even for a crazy widow.

I know this is probably all old news to many of you. To say I've been a little out of it lately, well an understatement. So I'm pretty excited about this 'new to me' technology.Heard something very wise recently:
'The definition of discipline is remembering what you want!'
That's right! I just remembered I want to be healthy! I don't want to be a giant powdered sugar donut.

Anyways...14 months and sometimes I see glimpses of the Jennifer I used to know and love. I know with time she'll come back more and more.

www.roddial.com

2011-09-18T08:17:00.001-07:00

I've been in a fog. Forgot about these news stories. Have I ever even seen them before? So proud of my kids on tv. What poise and grace they had. I was willing to do one news story in print, not on camera. Mostly i did it to give Nan Kinzler and Fern Hernandez a shout out. If you Ever need anything done on your house, i know the people! I'm attaching it below. Go to www.roddial.com for all of them
(the cute picture of me didn't copy over of me ; - ))
FEATURES / TOP STORIES
A solid foundation
Wednesday, November 10, 2010 | Amy Fowler | 3
Rod and Jennifer Dial dreamed of building a home where they could raise their kids. They dreamed of playing with their grandchildren and growing old together as they poured the concrete foundation for that home.
In September, Rod took his daughter on a kayaking trip that would end in tragedy. Though her 17-year-old daughter was safe, Jennifer had to redefine her dream. Facing a future without her husband of 25 years, she had to decide whether she still wanted the home they began together.
A month after the accident, she made her decision.
“I realized that we needed to build this house,” she said. “Rod was very pragmatic, very practical. I felt like he was saying ‘OK honey, you’ve had a month. Let’s go.’
The budget for the house was already tight, family friend Denny Lowe said. He said Rod ordered used materials off Craigslist, did much of the labor himself, and did whatever else he could to keep costs down without sacrificing quality. As a general contractor, he knew all the shortcuts.
However, after the accident, Rod’s contracting business dissolved and Jennifer had to figure out how to finish the house with only her income as a part-time Realtor while facing the prospect of putting four children through college (the oldest two already graduated), two of whom planned to perform full-time missionary work.
“I need to be thinking simpler and that’s OK,” she said. “Boy, something like this happens and it makes you realize things are not really important.”
But, she wasn’t alone. She said Rod’s friends and sometimes people she didn’t even know began to approach her with offers to discount their labor and supplies.
Then a friend of the family, who Rod and Jennifer knew more on a personal level than a professional one, stepped forward.
Nan Kinzler, a local architect and builder, offered to take over the general contracting at no cost while Fern Hernandez worked to secure the specialty trade labor.
“It just was the right thing to do,” Kinzler said. “I didn’t have a second thought.”
She said looking around at the hundreds of people who came to mourn Rod at his funeral, she felt like she could feel Rod tapping her on the shoulder.
“It was that moment of, I have a choice to just go, ‘Wow this is terrible,’ and just let it move on past me or, ‘Wow this is terrible. How can I help?’” she said.
Jennifer said she knew Kinzler and Hernandez were the right people, because they had the same vision as Rod.
“I think (Nan’s) an even more attention-to-detail builder than Rod was,” she said. “He built a great house, but I think I am getting the same quality just because of them.”
Once she had a general contractor, Jennifer said everything else started to fall into place. People from throughout the construction industry offered to discount their labor or materials. Some are working for cost. Others are using materials salvaged from other jobs. In all, she said about a dozen people are helping out in one way or another.
“They all are willing to lower their price a little bit when they hear the situation,” she said.
Even people she has no connection to are moved by her story. She said she ordered a door off Craigslist and once she paid the man, he turned around and donated a portion of the payment back to the college funds at roddial.com.
She said she knows Rod is happy to see his family so looked after.
“I think he is very grateful,” she said. “We’ve lived here for 20 years and we’ve built some great friendships. I think he’s smiling down at just his friends who are showing so much love to us.”
And though she said her energy isn’t what it was before the accident, and she still has days where it is hard to get out of bed, she moves forward because of her children.
“The biggest thing for me is I don’t want this to cripple our children,” she said. “Our faith makes us believe that we’ll see him again and he’ll still be my husband and he’ll still be their dad. That’s what keeps me going is the idea that we’ll still be together and we’ll still be a family.”

Comments
Edgar Vargas says:
November 14, 2010 at 7:13 pm
Behind every good man, there is a great woman, I praise sister. Dial’s courage to keep going and raise her kids on her own, god will be with her as she reaches her goal to raise her kids, and she is not alone, her kids are with her and they are great kids and will give her the courage to live as if brother Dial was here, and his spirit is watching ober. May god bless her and give her all that she needs as she strives to reach all her goals.
Kristen Duke says:
November 14, 2010 at 8:13 pm
What a beautiful article…we love the Dial Family! Can’t wait to see their new home in all its beauty.
Diane Carter says:
November 16, 2010 at 7:00 pm
It’s that time of year again, Thanksgiving, and , as usual, I keep remembering Rod’s great smile as he leaned back on the couch in your living room that Thanksgiving we shared together. Rod had a teenage girl on each side of him, and he had an arm around each of them. The girls were smiling and cuddled up to Rod, with the look of little girls trusting the world and the people in it. He even made this grandmom feel joy inside because of the love that radiated from his face. It was if he was saying, “It doesn’t get any better than this–being with my family and friends.” I’m grateful I became one of the Dial’s friends, and I too will miss Rod this year, but I still have a memory of his smile, and that’s worth a lot. Diane Carter

One year

2011-09-09T17:35:00.001-07:00

We are coming up on one year. Hard to believe it's been that long. Many have wondered what our plans are. No pomp and circumstance planned. Just really want the day to come and go. Here's the truth; every day is an anniversary for me. Another day I made it through. Maybe at a year a medal of honor should be handed out. Don't mean to be sad. Its just that I live this every day. I appreciate that others get to not think about it every day. And I'm touched that so many want to take the day to remember Rod.

Also sort of a blessing that I live it every day; still haven't forgotten his voice, his smell, his silly laugh, his guitar playing, his kindness. I know from being with him for 26 years what he'd do or say in any given situation. I realize many people never get the chance to live the great life I've lead for even one year let alone 26. I have much to be happy and grateful for. And many more years to live and enjoy my children and hopefully grandchildren some day. (Hint hint kids if you're reading this!)

I know what Rod would say about the day; "Might as well use that day to party and remember the good times"

So here's the plan:
Rodney and Kylee will just be returning from a fabulous Alaskan cruise. Those lucky ducks. Still not sure why they didn't take their Moms with them!

Joseph and Luke will be playing basketball with their friends and Rods friends who want to get together and play one in remembrance of Rod.

I will be flying to Utah to visit my girls. We may go to Rods favorite restaurant in Utah; Zupas and eat too much and tell Dad's dumb jokes and laugh instead of cry.

I will also spend some time in the temple. Remembering the promises made there.

One year has come and gone. We've made it through all the 'firsts'. We've seen the depth of compassion and service of so many. Truly amazing the love that has been shown.

I try to keep life going on just as it would if Dad were here. That seems to work best. We are good. Little miracles and blessings are manifest on a regular basis to remind me that while I may be alone, A loving Heavenly Father has not forgotten myself or my children.
Thanks y'all for everything,
Jennifer

Facebook info when I first joined

2011-06-02T06:14:00.000-07:00

I put this on my info when I first joined facebook. So funny at the time. Its time to update my facebook profile, but I couldn't just delete it. So I'm reposting here:
Rod's mantra when something is broke:
The mice ate it.
Steering doesn't work in the boat,
the mice ate the cable
Rope broke, mice ate it
Rear light on the boat out,
guess what he told the lake
police?....
The mice ate it!
Instead of peeing my pants,
I just jumped in the water.
Too bad he hates cats so much, it would solve the problem - or does he want it solved? Maybe thats why he doesn't want a barn cat, then he'd have no excuse. Hmmm...

His eyes

2011-04-20T07:56:00.000-07:00

At some point I realized my phone had over 100 text messages, my voicemail was full. I gave my phone to Jessica, was I required to answer these right now? At 4:00 AM my phone rang, it woke Jessica. It was the eye bank , they wanted Rods eyes. Jessica told them I'd just gone to sleep at 2:00 and she needed to let me sleep. Could they call back? They called again at 5:00, again could they call back? They called again at 6:00 and explained time was of the essence. Jessica decided to wake Rodney, Rodney said yes. Eye bank said they'd need to talk to me to have final verification but that was enough to get the process started. At 7:00 Jess woke me and told me that the eye bank needed to talk to me.

I got on the phone and listened to her; 'very sorry for your loss, sorry to call so early, time is of the essence, this donation would help not one but two people receive their site. It's anonymous but I would get a certificate. I could opt to have my name put on there so if the recipient ever wanted to contact me....'

I listened, I knew the answer but I couldn't answer her. Rod always said I could be empathetic to a fault. Instead I said; "I'm sorry for you! This is the worst job in the world! You have to wake grieving widows in the middle of the night and ask for body parts! How'd you get this job?" She gave me a speech about it was a worthy cause, blah blah I replied again; " I hate making phone calls, this would be a nightmare of a job for me"

Yes of course you can have his eyes, his beautiful, smiling eyes. Should I have told her he needed his reading glasses for everything these days? He even put reading glasses in his sunglasses. Should I have opened his eyes one more time to see them? No not necessary. I realized when I went in the hospital room to say goodbye to his lifeless body, there was nothing I needed to memorize. I knew everything about him.

Rod would've loved to donate every organ, every fiber of his body to help someone else live. Unfortunately they couldn't use anything else. When they were getting out of the kayak, it tipped and he hit his head and was knocked unconscious. He drowned while unconscious. He didn't suffer. It took rescue crews atleast an hour to find him. His body had been without oxygen for too long, no other organs were viable.

Some have said; "With all the crazy adventurous stunts Rod pulled, why was it something so simple that killed him?" I don't know, but it was merciful and painless, that's what matters to me.

It goes without saying that then, when they were asking for his eyes, as now my constant thought is; "Is this really happening? Am I really living this?"

Let me finish this on a lighter note, this is from yesterday;
Luke: "Mom I'm not sad anymore. And there is no way I could cry"

He needed some assurance that this was okay.

Me: "That's great buddy! Dad is proud of you for not being sad. He would be sad if you were still sad."

Luke: "But you're still sad sometimes. Why?"

Me: "Well....I've been with your Daddy since I was Nikka's age. Some day you're going to leave and go have a family of your own. I had planned to stay with Dad for the rest of my life."

Luke: "Well there are lots of wars and rumours of wars and earthquakes and tornados, maybe the Second Coming is coming soon and you won't have too wait long"

That kid has been paying attention in church!

208 Days

2011-04-11T12:07:00.000-07:00

Somehow the Dial family is moving forward and we are doing well! We are committed to honoring Rods memory by being happy. The kids are WAY better at that then me. But their infectious happiness is contagious and I can’t contain myself.

Happy that I have my six kids. SO happy I got married at 17 and had those six kids so fast so that Rod and I had the time we did together, and with them. To all of those who didn’t approve of the 17 year old and the 25 year old so many years ago...well now we see why it happened the way it did.

While we are good and moving on, there are still sad parts Im going to share, Im not going to pretend its all sugar and spice. So if you want sugar and spice, stop now! Plus this is really long and you may get really bored.

Friends have played a HUGE roll in our moving forward. They invite and cheer and visit and serve in a way that is amazing. The boys have had some fun experiences and friends make sure they stay busy on the weekends. Rod lived for his weekends, the water and sports just packing it full was a successful weekend. Others have taken that job over for me. Thank heavens!

The boys are good; I think they know Rod made it without a Dad from age 7 on and look how great he turned out. They can do it too. Its easier for them to not deal, I like to talk about Dad. It just makes them sad. They have their moments but for the most part life goes on as normal and we lead our lives how Dad would want us to. Uncle Jerry said it best; “You and Rod have done a great job! Just stay on cruise control and you’ll be fine” Thats what I try to do with the boys.

Nikka got into BYU!!!!! We all knew she would. Everyone seems most concerned about her. She is good. She understands Heavenly Fathers plan, she was a true hero in trying to save her Dad. But she couldn’t interfere with Heavenly Fathers Will. No amount of heroism could’ve changed the outcome. Instead she relishes that she got to spend the last few hours with him. And they had such a great time. And some great conversations.

The first two weeks were SO WEIRD! So sad, so shocked and yet we were having fun because we were all together. If only everyone could’ve been in the car from the funeral to the gravesite. We were laughing and making jokes and talking about how mad Rod was going to be at me for the open casket viewing. He hated those. And frankly he looked bad. He looked like he had gained 40 pounds and had that look on his face right before he was about to bust out laughing, not a great look. In my defense, they tell me 1000 people came through that line and needed to say goodbye. My proud moment, I made sure and greeted everyone of those people.

2 weeks was the longest I’d ever been away from him. I didn’t want 2 weeks to come. Then at 3 weeks I wanted time to stand still. I couldn’t imagine another moment with him not in it. And yet I didn’t, I was so torn! The longer he was gone the harder it was and yet the more opportunities for seconds where I would forget and try and be normal. Seconds became minutes, minutes became an hour. Never more then an hour goes by though that I don’t think of him.

One month after; I decided to continue the construction of the new house. With the help from some amazing builder friends, I call them my angel builders, we commenced. Looks like we will be moving in within a month.

We stayed busy through the holidays; Chicago for Thanksgiving. California for Christmas. Christmas Eve we visited the Los Angeles Temple. We sat on the back steps where Rod and I came out after we were married. We shared some stories. We shared some sacred moments where we were reminded that our family IS eternal and the veil is thin. A quick trip to the orphanages to do a small service project right after Christmas. I was numb in Mexico, that was our place. We discovered it while dating, we honeymooned there. I couldn’t work, just stood around. I’m hoping to be more productive this summer on our trip. We planted a limon’ tree in Rods honor at one of his favorite orphanages.

I continue to make regular trip to see Kyria or she comes here, always so much fun to hang out with her. Often I keep it a secret when I’m in Utah so I can just be with her. In January; favorite daughter in law got us tickets to Oprah. She got them without even playing the ‘widow card’ just her cute self. So a quick trip to Chicago for that and to stay in Rodney and Kylee’s amazing downtown apartment.

Elyse is here, lives in downtown Austin so we see her as often as possible. Love having her here.

At 6 months it felt like a tour of duty. People send their spouses off to war for six months and then they come home. But he wasn’t coming home. At 6 months I was helping Luke find a shirt in his closet and got a very small urge to clean the closet. Somehow I forgot how to clean closets and do dishes and make dinner. I’m having to re learn how to do all that with the efficiency that I used to.

Heres what I didn’t know about grief; its exhausting!! I need sleep, lots of sleep. With each passing day, I need less sleep. And I’m not depressed! Though my Dad loves to tell me I’m depressed. But the therapist says I’m not depressed, I’m grieving. Grief and depression are often confused.

The therapist also told me after one visit that I didn’t need to come back. She said my grief was normal, not complicated. Complicated grief comes from complicated relationships. Ours was not complicated. The therapist said; “There is no pathology here” Thank you, I think. But I know what she meant. After 25 years we had figured out our relationship and it was good and it wasn’t complicated. It wasn’t perfect and I’m not glorifying it. We fought, we got on each others nerves once in a while. But we had figured it out. I see old couples now fighting and I get SO mad; they don’t even want to be together and yet we did want to be together and can’t. Or when I hear people say they’ve been married a gazillion years I want to say; “I would’ve been married that long too if given the chance”

I’ve been able to attend an LDS widows conference in Utah that was so great! I also got to have a ladies night out with a bunch of LDS widows. Other widow/widowers are the company I crave. They get it.

I also got a new little dog, who I named Faith. She is 9 months old and still weighs 4 pounds. She is the best widow dog. Cuddly and calm. I'm also getting some goats; "Stan and Ollie" and some chickens. Thanks Grandpa for building the coop. These are all things Rod wanted no part of. He is glad he isn't around for the animal chaos.

Lessons I’ve learned so far:

Our Heavenly Fathers plan is real. The world where we live and the spirit world are very close. We should get our stuff in order because we never know when we will be called to that other world.

Powdered Sugar donuts really do make me feel better. Exercise doesn’t. Now I’m paying for those decisions. Metabolism should be rewarded when someone suffers a loss like we have. No such luck! And that makes me want to curse!

NEVER tell someone time heals. (Even though it seems like it does) In actuality you learn how to deal over time with the pain that is still there, still real.

NEVER judge how long someone should have meals brought in or their house cleaned. In some ways it really felt like I forgot how to do everything. And so cereal is always a good option for dinner. Or thank heavens for subway $5 foot longs. Or the nice lady who still brings me dinner weekly. She says it is so I can watch her kids, which Im really planning on doing when she asks me to. A good trade in my book.

Church is the hardest! My testimony hasn’t waivered, church is just hard.

I was the biggest judge when I felt a widow or widower dated or remarried too soon. I will NEVER do that again. Noone knows how it feels. Rod used to tell me that he would remarry because he loved being married, he wouldn’t know how to live. Plus he watched his Mom be alone for way too many years. I used to think he was just saying that (I thought angrily ‘what a player’ you would be) I also would tell him two things; make sure the kids wear clean underwear and IF you do remarry wait atleast two years to pretend like you’ve missed me. He never had any instructions for me, darnit!

Above is not a disclaimer; there are no plans in my future. I’m just saying until you’ve walked in someone’s shoes you don’t know what you would do. In fact I will probably stay happily alone and busy cleaning out Rods barn and all his tools (tools I think are useless and then I put them on Craigslist and shazam I make some good $$$) and tending to my dogs, goats (Stan and Ollie) and chickens. If I can just train those goats to take me out on a friday night, my life will be fine. Stan seems to be more cuddly then Ollie, so I'll choose Stan for the romantic dates.

Again I’m so grateful for the love and charity of so many through this time.

Jennifer
www.roddial.com

Rain rain go away!

2010-02-03T17:22:00.000-08:00

When I was a little girl I would tell my very high powered career minded Mom that all I wanted to do was stay home and be a Mom. I'm sure this made her feel really special when she was getting home at 7:00 PM from work. She never let on if it bothered her, she would just say; "Well make sure you don't live in Seattle because it rains there alot and you would be really depressed staying home in all that rain". Oh she also would tell me to put my makeup on and read alot of Time and Newsweek because housewives were frumpy and boring. Yes she was a product of the feminist movement and didn't think highly of the Mrs. Cleavers in the neighborhood. (The ones that I wanted to be)

Today I went and got Mom out of bed. She's spent 2 days in bed watching the rain. When I asked her what she was doing she said; "Being depressed" Now before you feel too sad for her, remember she has Alzheimers and she is generally a happy Alzheimers patient. So every 10 minutes she forgets she's been sitting there all day looking at the rain.

I had this Aha moment of why this rain could be affecting my normal chipper self:
A. As a child I was taught that rain was depressing
B. When it rains, my Mom gets so depressed she won't get out of bed

Tomorrow if it still raining I will show my Mom that rain can be fun. We will put on our rainboots and slickers and jump in the puddles.

PS: After Mom retired from her fortune 500 Vice President position she said it really didn't mean much. She should of been home with her kids. But that when she tried it, it was too darn hard.
Go Stay Home Moms!!!

In The News

2010-01-29T13:50:00.001-08:00

http://www.kvue.com/news/Schlitterbahn-plans-new-Cedar-Park-resort-and-water-park-82841377.html#comments

Postlogue

2010-01-27T19:03:00.000-08:00

And so I thought my day was done but no. I made a treat for pack meeting that had peanut butter in it. And thats a NO NO since one of our cutest boys has an allergy.

Some of the Moms were freaking out on me. Luckily the boys Mom was very nice and forgiving. I felt horrible. Evidently the email said no peanuts but I didn't read far enough down.

Silver lining: they won't ask me to do treats again.

PS: Rod said I looked HOT on TV, how sweet is that?

15 Minutes Of Fame

2010-01-27T15:41:00.000-08:00

Today was set to be a busy day. I have company in from out of town. Early release at school ,I was picking up Luke and four of his friends to come home for the afternoon. (My sis referred to it as the United Nations play date, every ethnicity was represented). My day for Dinner-Coop; where I make dinner for 4 families. And yesterday I was asked to do the refreshments for Pine wood Derby tonight.

In between all that I needed to get some work (both housework and Real Estate work) done and be ready to attend Pinewood Derby.

So with my five 9 year old boys running loose, dinner in the oven and on the stove and on the counter and up to my ears. By the way I made a delicious dinner; cooked a brisket last night and then drained and shredded it this morning, mixed with Rudys sauce and put back in the crockpot for a yummy barbecue beef sloppy joe. Then I did a doctored up yummy mac and cheese with green pepper, onion, pimentos, cream of mushroom and lots of cheese. Finish that up with an apple salad that had milky ways and peanutes. YUM!

Theres a knock on the door, I answer; "Hi I'm Mr. Reporter from KVUE news, I'd like to interview you about the proposed development behind your house"

Side note: The property behind our house sits on Brushy Creek and also fronts to 1431there have been plans to develop a Resort waterpark. We knew this before we built. At first it scared me. Then when on vacation a couple summers ago I stopped at every waterpark and would sit about the same distance that my house would sit from the water park. I decided it was not as bad as it sounded. In fact the sound seemed to dissipate and I found waterparks that had upscale home developments even closer then my house would be. And they were nice.

In addition; we built berms to landscape on to block any eye sores and we positioned our home in such a way that you really have to go out back and side yard to see it. So really I wasn't a good interviewee for Mr. Reporter because I'm not an irate resident.

Anyways , I asked Mr. Reporter for a second to take off my slippers and pull my hair out of a ponytail. They miked me up and put wires down my shirt. Yes for a second I felt like Kelly Ripa, part of my dream to live her life was being fulfilled. Maybe if I was really perky , witty and cute someone would be watching and think; "That lady needs a talk show in New York, we will move her family to Manhattan and pay her $20,000 per episode" Thus Rods dream of me either writing a Twilight type book or landing a Kelly Ripa gig would come to fruition and he could enjoy his life with a Sugar Mama.

As we walked out behind the barn I explained to the reporter I was really not a good person because I wasn't that against it. Its better then a Walmart or a strip mall with smelly ethnic food dumpsters in my backyard.

So I'm out there trying to answer questions and put on my best knowledgeable Realtor/homeowner face. He kept trying to get me to say something negative, he was trying to steer the conversation. OOOh that made me mad, not good journalism. I know I live in a quiet wonderful neighborhood that feels like the country. But I'm also 5 minutes from schools, HEB and Target. Its the best of both worlds. Country yet close in, so there will be some sacrifices. Like development. If I want solitude instead of convenience then I need to move further out.

While I'm being interviewed, my United Nations play group is running around like banshees (not sure what banshees are) screaming, Rods employee is washing the car, my dog is rolling in poop. And best of all, remember I said I had company? Well a certain relative that I haven't seen in 10 years and is in some sort of chronic pain and thus on some pretty heavy drugs and thus seems pretty sloshed starts walking over. This could be worse then having my Mom with Alzheimers walk up to my interview in her underwear!

So I do what any good TV star would do I say; "STOP the camera!" I quickly say; "See that person walking up here? Well I haven't seen them in 10 years they are only here for 2 days and they are in alot of pain so they are on some funny drugs, basically wasted. DO NOT put them on camera no matter what!"

I was beginning to get the feeling that Me and My crazy life might BECOME the story. The camera man and reporter kept looking at eachother like; "What parts of this shall we capture"
"Ok you can turn the camera back on now" I said.

They finished up the interview, not getting the dirt they were hoping for. I did mention we would probably be selling our home, to build an even better one next door and when I told him the price the reporter thought it was a steal of a price. Hmm... I get that alot, maybe I should re think my pricing.

When I came back into finish my gourmet dinner and pinewood derby treats, my dreams went to how the reporter would actually mention my beautiful home that would be for sale. That would air at 6:00 PM, by 6:20 I'd have 3 offers for more then the asking price and we'd be heading to the bank.

On my way to the kitchen I stopped in the potty to wash my hands before returning to food prep and noticed that while I remembered to take out my messy ponytail, the 2 bobby pins that were keeping my bangs out of the food were sticking up on my head. Lovely.

Then I made myself crazy thinking they would pull a soundbite out that made it sound like I was really against it and then how would that look? Then I wondered if they secretly taped my crazy life and really at 6:20 the men in the white suits with the white van would come to take me away once and for all.

Or maybe best of all , I would end up on the editing room floor (isn't that how they say it in tv land?)

No such luck, I made the 6:00 news, in fact the lead story. Im not sure what I said though because my dvr came on half way through the segment.

Let me tell you, fame is not what its cracked up to be.

And as soon as this pinewood derby is over, I'm ready for bed!!!

2009 Christmas Letter

2009-12-26T17:46:00.001-08:00

It is occuring to me how many people I FORGOT to send the Christmas letter to. So sorry. Here it is!

It was November 2008; One morning about 6:00 AM Rod sat up in bed and asked; “How much does a wedding cost?” I groggily gave him my best guess and tried to go back to sleep. He couldn’t sleep, he started to stress. “We are going to have a wedding in June!” I thought he was crazy, later that day we joked about it and everyone in the family thought it was a crazy notion.

Rod was right! June 5th, 2009; Rodney married Kylee Eyre.

If I (the mom) could’ve arranged a marriage for my boy this would’ve been it! We already knew her and her family since she was 4 and he was 7. No crazy in-law stories here. Well they probably tell some about us… Rodney and Kylee were married in the Chicago LDS temple; It was a great couple of weeks with receptions in both Chicago and Texas. Many friends and family flew in from long distances to be there, and we loved every minute of it.

Rodney graduates from BYU this month and has been interviewing all over. We can’t wait to see where he and Kylee decide to go.

In addition to Rod’s new telepathic ways, he also has a new digit in his age: 50! Nothing changed when he turned 50, well except he added yoga to his repertoire of basketball, wakeboarding/surfing, and working out. Rod added pool building and concete to his construction business this year. He’s also in startup mode again with a Digital Signage company.

In preparation for this big wedding I (Jennifer) decided I needed something to help me fit into some nice dress. I signed up for a triathlon, not a full one but one of the sprint kind, I may have been desperate but I wasn’t crazy. That was a great adventure for me and I look forward to doing another one next year. Being a realtor continues to help keep three kids in college. Mostly though I’m just Mom; cab driver, housekeeper, cook, etc…and that’s what I enjoy the most. Now that half our kids are grown, Rod and I realize how fast it goes by.

Elyse (22) graduates this April from BYU. She spent the summer living half the week in Houston, working for us as we expanded our business there. She bought her first car, paid cash for it. All of a sudden the ‘check engine’ light means more when you own the car yourself. In addition to school, Elyse works as a trainer in a marketing company.

Kyria (19) is also in Provo; attending UVU. Her and Elyse are roommates. Kyria works in a law office as an office assistant. But really it just seems like they play a lot. They have these missions they go on together: ‘operation get Elyse’s boyfriend back’ Or ‘operation So Cal; down and back in 48 hours.’ Kyria’s favorite class is her basketball class, she also plays intramural basketball. She proudly got kicked out of a game recently for talking ‘smack’…well she got kicked out for two minutes and then they let her back in.

Nikka (16); is driving! The hand-me-down car that all 3 of the older kids drove at some point died on her shortly after getting her license. We bought a very used yellow bug for her. Stick shift and all. Took her some getting used to, and she does have a bit of a lead foot. After she pays this ticket and stands before the judge I think she may be cured of it though. In addition to high school, Nikka attends 2 classes at the college, 6 AM Seminary, piano, and works part time as a nanny. It makes me need a nap just trying to keep her schedule straight.

Joseph (12) Just finished up middle school football. As much as we love basketball; Joseph is the first one in the family to ever make the 7th grade basketball team. Middle school has brought out a very social side to Josey. He always has some invitation to do something with his friends.
Luke is 9, in the fourth grade. He stays busy playing sports, and ‘hanging out’ with his big brother. I bribe him and Joseph to take piano lessons. Luke excel’s at piano just for the flaming hot cheetos and gatorade that comes at the end of his lesson.

Also on a family note, the family made two trips to visits our orphanages in Mexico this year. In August, we went with the Herveys, Dials (Rodney and Ky), Larimores (Jerry and Billy), and a host of Eyre, Labrum, Richards, and Johnson teens (well, Pam Johnson is not really a teen, but almost) to build a boys dormatory for Rancho El Faro. We poured a foundation, built walls, roofed, plumbed, electrified, tiled, played soccer and basketball, ate lobster, swam in the ocean, and generally did some good. We went back in November for a Sunday visit to read to, sing to, and swing with the kids. We have another trip planned for 2010 that should be even more fun.

We love our family and friends that have touched our lives in many ways! Merry Christmas, The Dial Family

Random things about me

2009-02-05T21:17:00.000-08:00

Where is your cell phone? RIGHT NEXT TO ME
Your hair? IN A PONY TAIL
Your father? A HILARIOUS CRACK POT
Your favorite thing? MY FAMILY
Your dream last night? DEATH
Your favorite drink? CRANERGY AND FRESCA MIXED,ITS MY DIET COKE SUBSTITUTE
Your dream goal? 'SEE YOU THERE'
The room you are in? LIVING ROOM
Your fear? NOT BEING PREPARED
Where do you want to be in 6 years? A FIT HOT GRANDMA
Muffins? CHOCOLATE
One of wish list items? A DRIVEWAY
Where did you grow up? SAN DIEGO
The last thing you did? INTERVIEWED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE FOR A JOB OPENING, ugh...
What you are wearing? SOFT PAJAMAS
Your t.v.? BIG AND TUNED TO SEINFELD
Your pets? MILLIE, NEIGHBORS SINATRA, RANDOM RABID RACCOON, DEER A PLENTY
Your computer? GATEWAY AND GATEWAY, I'M CHEAP
Your life? GREAT
Your mood? EXHAUSTED
Missing someone? 4 PEOPLE IN UTAH
Your car? NISSAN MURANO
Favorite store? TARGET, ROSS, HOBBY LOBBY
Your favorite color? PURPLE
The last time you laughed? I PEED
Last time you cried? EVERYONE LEFT AFTER CHRISTMAS
Food? GOOEY HOMEMADE WARM CHOCOLATE ANYTHING
Where would you rather be right now? NO WHERE

Kids and Cell Phones

2009-01-31T15:47:00.000-08:00

Joseph is turning 12, tooooo young for a cell phone. Why then every day do I hope that some kid will loan him a cell phone so I can figure out if he has art or not, if he is riding the bus or not, if he needs to stay after or not. Without a means to communicate I sit at the designated pick up place wondering.... In fact I've loaded solitaire on my phone just for this waiting game. Without a means to communicate he sits in front of the school wondering if I've remembered that he didn't catch the bus because he was doing a project after school.

I've learned to answer his friends cell phones. Usually I'm only diligent about out of area code unknown calls. Those are potential clients moving here and wanting me to help them find a house. But between 3:45 and 5:15 I know to answer any random call that comes in.

Not sure what I did without a cell phone when I was 12. Oh wait I remember, I was a latchkey kid there were no parents at home wondering how I got home or when I got home or with whom. I just somehow got home and they were glad to see me when they got home.

Usually we say when they begin to play school sports and have before or after school practice we get them a cell phone. Thats a year away for Josey.

Where would he carry a cell phone? He still wears basketball shorts everyday. Fashion means nothing to him just yet, though I see the change coming.

PS I'm dieting, doing good, but I'm dieting. I'm hungry and I hate skinny people.

Christmas Letter 2008

2008-12-10T19:07:00.001-08:00

Oh the annual Christmas letter; time to write about all the good stuff without exposing any dirty laundry.

We finished construction on our house and made the move in March. It has been so fun.

We know we are now Country folk based on the following statements that have all been said this year

“Honey, whose goat is that on our back porch?”

“You know those chickens roosting in the attic? The dry wallers have drywalled them in.”

Neighbor calls: “Can you look out in your pasture for my horses?”

Me; “Why are those so many dogs howling at the same time every night?” Rod; “Those my dear are coyotes” (In that case ignorance could’ve been bliss)

Joseph (11) and

Luke (8); “Mom we found a rattlesnake at the creek, but don’t worry its dead!”

And my personal favorite; “There’s a scorpion in my shower!”

Rodney (22), Elyse(21) and I went to New York in February so that Rodney could experience NYC without being a missionary, Elyse could shop and be the trivia dancer on Regis and Kelly, and I could see Wicked. Trip was a success, all was accomplished.
Elyse and her new BFF Kelly Ripa:

Elyse doing the 'trivia' dance - shake it girl!

Rod, Rodney and Kyria(18) had the opportunity to go to Hawaii this summer. Rodney and Kyria had 2 weeks on the north shore checking out BYU Hawaii. Those left behind were really jealous.

We had the chance to take 2 trips to work at orphanages in Mexico; Over Spring Break we built a wheelchair ramp. In August we went with three other families and helped build a recreation building. We had the kids leave all their electronic devices in the United States. Which in and of itself was life changing. Both trips were a great experience for us and we hope to return annually. (Rod has the hook up, so if you’re ever interested you can certainly come along)

Not sure why these picturess are so little

This year marked the year when we have $$$ 3 kids in college $$$. All in Utah, two at BYU and one at UVU. (BYU Hawaii was not able to lure any of our children) We are the Utah economic stimulus package!

This year Rodney and Kyria live in the same dump, I mean Apartment complex. They are having a blast together. They are not happy I didn't have something better to say about them. Since the gag order is in effect for the really juicy stuff, what more can I say?

Elyse spent the summer selling pest control and spent fall semester in Texas.

Nikka (15) started her sophomore year at a new high school. No more riding on older siblings’ coattails. She has a great attitude, made new friends, and plays on the JV basketball team. With only 3 left at home she is the oldest around the house now. We love to watch the kids evolve as the dynamics in the family change.

Joseph and Luke discovered La Crosse and air soft guns this year. Who ever invented La Crosse had way too much testosterone. I’m hoping it’s a fad and they go back to tamer things like football or basketball.

Rod killed a wild hog for our food storage this year! Laying pavers pays the bills, he also is partnering in a new high tech venture. I am a Realtor in between being the Mom and teaching Seminary. We had some fun short trips, we miss the corporate days when our vacations were paid for. (Rod reminds me we can go to presidents club every year, we just need to plan and pay for it) My Mother moved in with us this year, she seems to enjoy Texas. When she gets restless she flies out to visit one of her other kids.

With so much gloom in the news lately, we are ever grateful for our faith in our Savior Jesus Christ. May the peace that comes from His life, and Atoning sacrifice envelop us all as we celebrate His birth.

Thanks for being part of our lives and reading our sappy Christmas letter. The Dial Family

Here's some pics of the new house, still a work in progress but we it is fun!

Our cool red barn in the background; Rod has his office out there

We put a washer and dryer in the master bath. Brilliant! I have a friend who told me she had two seperate toilets; I might trade the washer dryer for that.

Two weeks with two Moms; now its time to decompress

2008-11-10T20:08:00.000-08:00

So my Mom, the one with Alzheimers, the one who gets around new strange men and goes into sexual innuendo mode. She is here most of the time now. The last 2 weeks Rod's Mom came as well. Believe it or not it is easier with both of them. Serving my Mother-in-law gives my Mother something to do. My Mother-in-law is constantly entertained by my Mother, especially the sexual innuendos.

It took me all day, but with the help from Pam-my I got both of them on 2 different planes this evening. Mom is going to Utah to play in her old band for the Christmas season, Beth is going back to her daughters home where she lives. My Mother-in-law asked 12 times on the way to the airport; "where is my plane ticket" at 79 years old trying to imagine ticketless travel is unfathomable. My Mom asked 12 times; "where am I going?" Oh and once she asked; "how am I related to you?" She also asked mother-in-law if she wanted one of her yellow happy pils, she said : "Its as good as smoking a joint!" If all this wasn't crazy enough, some insurance guy calls me while I'm in the car with all this craziness and asks me my height and weight! I said it like I was saying a phone number so noone would know what I was saying. So lets say for example, or actually in my dreams; I'm 5'8" and weigh 125. So I said "581-25mumblemumble" See it sounded kindof like a phone number.

After Rod's mothers annual visit; he buys me something to show his appreciation for me caring for his mother. (Its actually a funnier story then that, ask me sometime) here is what I chose this time.

So now I will retire my 30 year old bosch that I bought 15 years ago at a garage sale in Fredricksburg for $15. I'm a little attached though, it may just go in the garage.

And the best news is I will spend the rest of the week decompressing, I'm really not this snobby, even though this will sound snobby: I am getting a massage tomorrow. Wednesday I'm going to Houston to hang out with Elyse and shop, shop, shop. They have Sam Moon in Houston now. And sometime in there Sandy has promised to paint my toenails burnt orange with longhorn signs on them. That must be done before Saturday so I have them ready to match my shirt. Hook em Horns!

World celebrates win and a house divided

2008-11-05T12:09:00.001-08:00

That's the Dial house is divided. 5 members of our immediate family are old enough to vote. We didn't all vote for the same candidate for president. No hard feelings though. We had some good discussions. And when our younger kids voted in their school election, they didn't all vote for the same guy either.

I'm surprised today; many black people have commented that they finally feel like anything really is possible for African Americans. One comment from a black man; "My Mom told me I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up - except president" Really? I thought we were past that? I know there are crazy racist groups, but I thought as a society we had finally reached a point where we are color blind. I guess now finally we really are.

My Grandpa was a racist in his early days, I don't think he knew better. When I was in 8th grade I brought home a boy I liked. This boy helped our family clean out the garage, probably why he didn't stay long. My parents acted a little strange when he was there. (Sadly now I can't remember his name) I do remember he held my hand on the bus once. It wasn't until he left that I learned why my Dad had acted strange, he never thought one of his daughters would bring home a black boy. It never occured to me that the color of his skin should be an issue.

Everytime one of my kids dates someone of color I think: "Oooh they'd have beautiful babies"

And so while I understand the immense pride the African American community must feel today. As a color blind white person it saddens me how many needed this election to validate their worth and potential.

I read this book 'Three Cups of Tea' it changed my view on a few things; specifically how we respond to the world and the war on terror. The headline; 'World celebrates win.' gives me hope. Maybe Barack can help our image in the world and build better relations while still protecting us from crazy terrorists. He sure has a cute family, and his wife seems real. I look forward to seeing what she wears all the time, and what kind of puppy they get the girls. Important issues that will shape our nation.

Barack, Please don't let politics make you nasty, please don't cheat on your wife that's all I ask.

The Jewish man, the Mexican, and the American

2008-08-23T21:01:00.000-07:00

Now that we are down to 3 kids we can do random things like decide to go to a nice sit down dinner at the last minute. Friday night it was just 2, the little boys. And this is a slightly dated picture but I love them in their little hispanic shirts which reminded me of something else. But the something else later, I digress.

Anyways, we went to check out this new restaurant that had been recommended; Traxx. As soon as we sat down Josey did what he normally does, checks out the kids menu for steak. He loves to order steak. Its his favorite. He was so excited, they had steak and he was ready to order. The waitress came over and he volunteered to go first since he knew what he wanted; "I'll have the rabbi steak medium"
Waitress: "Excuse me?"
Josey: "I'll have the rabbi steak, medium"
HotRod; "Let me see that Josey"...."Do you mean ribeye?"
Josey: "Yeah isn't that what I said?"

Then we remembered when someone once ordered the bootie pasta. Mmm yummy. They meant bowtie.

When the waitress left Rod asked Joseph if he knew what a rabbi was, he didn't so we explained. A rabbi is similar to a bishop in our church. The man in charge of the congregation. A good man, someone we should respect. He then realized what was so funny.

He didn't like his 'rabbi' steak too much, he said; "This rabbi is a fatty"

Now mexican shirts; tonight we attended a dear friends parents 50th wedding celebration. They are hispanic, or are they mexican? I don't know and I don't know which is politically correct. Anyways these are some of our best friends and they always include us in their fiestas. So much so that Nikka who is turning 15 on Monday wants a quinsenera (sp?)

Once Elyse said while dating a hispanic boy; "I'd really like to marry into that culture, they have great get togethers"

That culture really is family oriented, they should be an example to us all.

Another observation; every fiesta has the same menu. And thats not a bad thing! Its expected and its always delicious. Beans, rice, some sort of meat and tortillas. No cheese or sour cream, thats American stuff. How would it be if everytime I entertained I was expected to make the same thing? Not vary my menu at all? That's awesome!

So happy anniversary Grandma and Grandpa Hernandez, thanks for including us gringos.

Good Deals are my natural caffeine

2008-08-20T21:41:00.000-07:00

Why do good deals get me high? I felt so sick today. I had a crappy work day and I mean crappy. Crappier for my clients though and that is what makes it worse. Is crappy a bad word? Is Luke going to read this and think Mommy needs her mouth washed out with soap. Rod is my worst conscience, will he say its a bad word? Should I say cruddy instead?

Then I had the priviledge of a 3 hour middle school open house. 3 because Josey was so excited he led me to believe it started an hour earlier then it did.

This is a trick my kids have passed down to each other; tell Mom and Dad earlier so that they actually get there on time. Accept now I'm better so I end up showing up an HOUR early.

I come home late, dead, ready to sleep for 17 hours. But wait; my dear hot rod has gone to pick up my latest good deal - some furniture. And just like that I see it and start to do cheers in the kitchen to the astonishment/embarassment of my children since there were other people there as well. I'm no longer tired, in fact that was 2 hours ago and I'm still flying high.

I'm sure I will crash here pretty quick and tomorrow I will need another fix. Thank heavens for Target, if the fix doesn't happen - spending an hour at Target is the next best thing. Costco is the third best, Sams fourth, TJ Maxx or Marshalls tied for fifth, outlet mall, no let me clarify, the Coach store in outlet mall 6th........

PS: A little plug; today I also had a solartex skylight installed in my kitchen. Its small, 14 inches in diameter. And wala! I no longer needed to leave a light on in my kitchen, I had natural light! Money well spent. www.solartex.com

Tuesday

2008-08-19T20:34:00.000-07:00

Wake up and think; "Maybe today could be back to bed Tuesday"
Exercise
Shower
Eat breakfast
Meeting in barn to discuss renovations
Take Luke to register for school, read sign;
"School closed until 11:30 for off campus meeting"
Realize they also 'close' from 12:00-1:00 for lunch. I'll come back after 1:00
Take Josey to the middle school to register
12:00 PM Schlotsky's; buy boys some lunch and a cool new sandwich for me
Austin board of realtors to get my new phone updated with MLS, want my sandwich
Payless shoes for Luke, try to convince him they are as good as the cool lime green nikes he wants. Not working, really want my sandwich
Back to Lukes school to register, right after this I'll eat sandwich
Get a call: friend of a friend are going to rent a house and its full of dog urine can you help? Forgot about my sandwich
Enlist daughters to babysit
Go house hunting and find house for client #1!
Paperwork at office
5:00 Finally EAT 1/2 my sandwich because I'm really trying to be good.
Fold laundry and sort bills
Shop online With Luke for shoes, how the heck did this kid discover Nordstrom kids?!?
Explain that NO $45.00 is not a good price for lime green Nikes.
Drop Kyria to pick up car
Drive out to Steiner to look at an estate sale preview I'm privvy to.
Check out a driveway Rod did.
Continue to copy home videos to dvd, I'm so proud of myself
Meet with client #2 who are also house guests at the moment, (don't ask)
Good news is they have become great friends!
Put boys to bed.
Meet with client #3 to write a contract. Also a great friend.
Sidenote: This is what I love about my 'part time' job.
I get involved with these clients and fast become great friends.
Check my email.
Visit with girls, nag Kyria about her college list.
Kyria nags me about needing a new phone
Chat with husband.
Just for fun check my phone, guess how many phone calls today? 72
Shoot! Remember one of those 72 phone calls was a request to lead music.
I forgot to call her back. (Insert guilt here)
Realize it was such a crazy day I just may have to blog about it.
Now I'm listening to the sounds of 4 teenage girls in the kitchen cooking and giggling and talking Gilmore Girls style (88 mph).
Love those sounds.
And finally now 11:00 PM my dream of back to bed Tuesday has become a reality.
After I join in on the Gilmore Gabfest.
Just the ordinary day in the life of a Mom. And here's why mine wasn't even that bad.
I did not get up last night with a baby and I did not change a diaper.
Shout out to Moms everywhere who's days are like this most of the time.
Good night.

I need that appendage back

2008-08-17T15:07:00.000-07:00

Moms know; everytime a child is born its like growing an appendage. Somehow you are linked, they may cut the umbilical cord but somehow you are still linked to this life like an additional appendage. This by the way is a good thing.

Every scraped knee, cut off fingertip (yes I did this to my firstborn the first time I tried to trim his fingernails.) That was definitely MORE painful for me then him. I called Rod at work and was so hysterical he thought there would be a hospital and surgery involved. Anyways, we feel everything; burned hands from the stovetop even though you've said no-hot! 52 times, and splinter is felt as keenly by Mommy's as it is by their children. As well every proud; "Mommy I did it" is felt proudly by Moms as well.

As our babies grow up become children, then teenagers and finally adults there is one secret that all Mom's don't know. Maybe Moms don't share it with other Moms since it could be too painful to bear. Well... allow me to share.

Moving out; there I let the secret out. I never knew how sad it would be to one by one let my children grow up and go off to college until it actually happened to me. I actually accusingly would go up to 'older' women at church and say; "Why didn't you tell me" They just smile knowingly and shrug their shoulders. I guess no one likes to talk about it. It sucks! Your appendage has been put on a plane and ripped away with no anesthetic!

There is a good side to this story; the reunions, the coming home. And this weekend the stars aligned and we were all together. Now this may sound sappy but I don't care; I'm a happy person, life is good. But my true deep joy comes when all 8 of us are together in the same place. Its chaotic and loud and messy but its Joy, true great joy.

Today my girls were commenting that all my girlfriends were much younger then me. (Thats because I'm cool and young at heart, right?) So listen up my young girlfriends. ENJOY, enjoy every poopy diaper, temper tantrum, sleepless night, sore ....., you know from nursing, because all too soon it will be gone. And I know everyone says that but believe me this time, its true.

Which is why I'm a better Mom to the 3 still at home, I know to enjoy more and stress about the messiness of life less. If only I'd really listened to those Moms who told me that with the first 3 kids.

Ode to Mo

2008-08-14T02:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Elyse Mikel Dial, you are the bestest!
My first born was only 6 months old when I discovered I was pregnant with Elyse.
I suffered an accident while pregnant; broke my pelvis, fractured my femur, cracked a rib. Spent a month in a wheelchair. I was a wreck, Elyse was fine.
When she was born her 9lb 11 oz body broke my tailbone. I sat on a donut for months. She was healthy as can be.
Today; August 14th is her 21st birthday, I get emotional just writing that.
Where the heck did 21 years go? I remember her cute little speech problem. A friend suggested she try practicing her speech. She did and it always came out like this; “Wabbits Wun Wapidly” So cute! She is an amazing girl.
The first girl in a family of 6 kids meant she did a lot of babysitting.
Having a big brother meant she was tormented on a regular basis.
She remembers all too well the poor days and wonders if I’m spoiling her younger siblings. Probably, it’s called getting lazy.
Now she’s a bug girl. Yet I still have ants in my pantry! (See previous blog)
In spite of the ants; I’m very proud of her. She is strong, beautiful, disciplined, spiritual, cool, loving, sometimes a clepto. I could go on and on and on.
Now there is much I can learn from her. Sometimes she decides to not eat chocolate for a month, and she never cheats! I’d lose 20 pounds in a month if I did that.
Happy birthday Mo! I love you tons.
Momma

Alzheimer's causes weight gain

2008-08-13T01:31:00.001-07:00

My amazing Mother age 69
5 children
Educated
Real Estate Broker
Founding partner and corporate vice president ConAm,
A fortune 500 real estate holding company (www.conam.com)
In the 60’s and 70’s women were struggling for equality and power.
Mom already had the equality and power
Some of my best traits come from her:
She had so many best friends, everyone was a friend
Mom knew how to throw a party, everything needed to be perfect

Then Alzheimer’s came to stay and Mom asks;
How many kids do I have?
Me: Five but four living
Mom: You have so much going on! How do you know how to sell real estate and manage a home?
Me: I learned from you Mom
Mom: How are you going to entertain all those people?
Me: You always did the best parties Mom
Mom: I did?
Mom: Are you wearing a bra?
Me: (thinking) how the heck can you tell if I'm wearing a bra but can't remember if your parents are alive or dead?
Mom: Who am I married to?
Me: Dean
Mom: Why aren't I married to your Dad? He is the love of my life.
Me: You divorced him.
Mom: Well that was the biggest mistake of my life. (Mom always sheds tears here)

More bad news: When Alzheimer's came to stay I gained 14 pounds. 14 pounds I could not afford to gain! Don't worry about me though, myself and I have had a 'come to Jesus'. I'm on a program now, I won't be getting into my skinny jeans but I will atleast get my Alzheimers weight off. Which explains why I'm awake at 3:00 AM.
I'm hungry!

The good news; Alzheimer’s takes the bad memories too.

Ants in the pantry

2008-08-12T13:43:00.000-07:00

Just returned from one of the best vacations we've ever had; a week at Newport Beach Marriott villas, then a trip to Mexico to volunteer in an orphanage with 3 other awesome families. But I came home to ants in my pantry! Ants in my brand new pantry! All I seem to want to rant and write about are ants in my pantry.

I really need to read 'Don't sweat the small stuff'

On a happier note, my firstborn flies in tonight. You know what that means?!? For a very brief time my family will be all together. It is the time I feel complete joy when all 6 children are back together with us. People always say 'it goes by so fast' but it really does go by WAY TOO FAST!

Jenn
PS The baby in the picture is not mine, darnit! She is my cutest niece Sadie age 1

Waxing; ouch, ouch, ouch and OUCH!

2008-07-20T18:58:00.000-07:00

Maybe worse then the pain of getting my eyebrows waxed is what the lady says when I go;
"Why you no want your lip wax?" What wrong with my lip?
The first time I had my eyebrows waxed I was so not prepared for the pain. Mind you I've given birth naturally, I still think its right up there with pushing a watermelon out your bum, which is what natural childbirth feels like. After the first eye about got ripped off, I sat there with the other eye covered in wax and paper while 2 other women got their eyebrows waxed. I figured I could live with some paper on my eyebrow, anything to not have to remove it. I even asked the lady if she could pull super slow 1 hair at a time. My friend was quite embarassed, and I didn't wax again for many years.

Now I get my eyebrows done as rarely as possible, just before I get a unibrow, and I still hate it so much. So this trend towards waxing everything and I mean EVERYTHING is totally lost on me.

My hairy self finally feels vindicated; was reading recently that scientists believe the rash of quickie marriages/divorces that have increased in the last few years could be tied to waxing. Hear me out, this makes sense.
You know phermones, the scent or chemical you give off that determines if you are physically attracted to another person? Hence the term chemical reaction. Well phermones need a place to rest and they don't rest on the hair on our heads and they don't stick around on bareskin. So when we wax everything we are waxing our phermones right off. Hairless people are meeting other hairless people and they think they may be compatible but time goes by, a little hair grows, the phermones come out and WOOPS the chemical reaction is more like when I pour clorox bleach into clorox color safe bleach. Kaboom! No chemical attraction.

So glad my hairy self met my hairy husband when we were both hairy. Maybe thats why we've stayed married so long.

One thing though; If HotRod were to get a hairy back, I would beg him to go visit the "Why you no want your lip wax?" woman.

Phisherobilias and Mo

2008-07-19T08:34:00.000-07:00

Shout out to phisherobilias! I like to read blogs. I'm amazed how many millions of blogs. Why do so many people take the time? So many good ones. Some get $$$, then I see better ones that aren't sponsored (no $$$). How does that work?

Then my daughter (nickname 'Mo") blogs, how did she get so smart? How does she know those big words? BYU education is paying off. Yeah!

She is dropping out, I learn from her blog. Nonetheless, her blog inspires me.

Meet Rachel, I read her blog. I am infatuated with her zest for life. And finally I decide, I could blog too. Funner then a journal. And how often do I go upstairs and dust off the old books? Um, never!

Three blind mice

2008-07-19T07:20:00.000-07:00

HotRod's mantra when something is broke:
The mice ate it.Steering doesn't work in the boat, the mice ate the cable Wakeboarding Rope broke, mice chewed through it. Rear light on the boat out, guess what he told the lake police?....The mice ate it! Instead of peeing my pants,I just about jumped in the water to relieve myself. Too bad he hates cats so much, it would solve the problem - or does he want it solved? Maybe thats why he doesn't want a cat, then he'd have no excuse, who would he blame? Hmmm...
On the way home my one question: Why do we have this nice boat with so many things wrong with it? Why not just get them fixed?
Answer: Don't start.
Lessons learned in marriage: Learn when to be quiet. Ok I won't start